“There are a million different ways to support our partners as they grow life inside of them; nine months wasn't enough time to try them all, but I learned that supportive care can and should extend into postpartum and beyond—it's become a lifestyle.”

What does a healthy and joyous birth mean to you?

• Smiles
• Laughter
• Safety
• Security
• Legacy
• Inspiration
• Love
• Family

Who was a part of your village of support during pregnancy and the time shortly after birth? How did they help?

Our doula, Shana Spinks, from the African American Infant and Maternal Mortality Prevention Initiative (AAIMM)  was a gift from God. She was with us through the pregnancy, delivery, and into early postpartum offering support and resources to help us in our journey at every step. She taught us everything from swaddling to how we could support one another through each trimester to breastfeeding and everything in between. My Fatherhood group hosted by our amazing teacher Davion Mauldin was a great resource and safe space for me to learn from and be supported by men of color while also offering support to those same brothers who were embarking on the same journey, many for the first time as well.

Where do you go to get information in general and also specifically related to childbirth, pregnancy, being a father? (apps, websites, podcasts, YouTube channels, etc.)

I leaned into as much real-time information from people in my day to day life. Our doula program recommendation called from Lisa Nicholas (OBGYN - UCLA Health) and our doula, Shana Spinks, referred me to Davion Mauldin. Each person spoke highly of the work being done by the people they were referring me to and that eased my mind and was much more reliable for me than Google searches or reviews. We took some courses and classes provided within those spaces as well as leaned on our village of family and friends that were parents for additional advice. I also triple checked everything through our resources just to be safe that I was making the best choices for our family.

Have you seen any advertising or articles about fatherhood that got your attention? If so, why did it grab your attention?

Nothing at the moment. That's crazy to think, because Father's Day is less than a week away. I think sometimes our roles aren't celebrated as much as they are valued. Being a father is the true gift, though, so recognition or not, we still win! :-)

How did you/do you participate in the pregnancy with your partner? Classes? Appointments? Other?

• Advocacy for my partner and our son 
• Appointments
• Classes
• Thoughtful 
• Support any way I could  
• Physical presence 
• Attentive care
• Prioritizing their needs

How do you contribute as a partner in other ways?

Showing up every day offering love and support. That looks different each trimester, each week, each day. Some days it's trying to find flowers and seeded watermelons and others might be baths with epsom salt and dabs of lavender on her pillows after she's fallen asleep. There are a million different ways to support our partners as they grow life inside of them; nine months wasn't enough time to try them all, but I learned that supportive care can and should extend into postpartum and beyond—it's become a lifestyle.

What are your concerns about safety related to your child or other child care topics you are aware of or interested in?

I think being a new parent there is a part of me that wants to know, "what's next?" lol. I want to know when I can expect him to speak, roll from back to stomach, have his first tooth, what are the best foods to offer him to ensure he'll be healthy, happy, and smart. I'm curious about everything, but I try my best to limit my worrying, I know he feeds off our energy.

What advice would you give to an expectant father/fathers?

Communication is EVERYTHING. Partners need to be able to express openly and safely within their relationship dynamic to ensure the support needed can be asked for and given. I think it's very important to lean on one another, but in addition to the in-home support, it's OK to have circles and villages centered on each individual. It’s great to have thoughtful energy come from outside. It helps recharge and renew which allows you to show up and continue your support and care for one another as well as your growing family.

What are, in your opinion, some of the best ways to be an advocate for your partner? For yourself? Your child(ren)?

• Ask Questions
• Be Present
• Attend Appointments
• Be Intentional and Attentive
• Be Honest
• Ask For Help
• Listen To Your Partner
• Be OK Not Having All The Answers
• Give Grace
• Have Gratitude
• Be Thankful

How did you feel you were/are treated by doctors and other support staff when at medical appointments with your partner?

I did my best to keep an open mind but I knew that most of the attention would be given to my partner and our son. I wanted to make sure that my partner was treated with the highest level of care and all of her concerns and questions were handled with care.

I was treated with respect, but I also made sure that my voice and presence wasn't diminished simply because I wasn't the parent physically carrying our son.

What will help you feel confident that you can be effectively involved as a partner, especially during pregnancy?

I think educating Black Men is always going to boost our confidence. If you teach us anything, you are doing God's work. We are born leaders, and will take those lessons back home to our families and communities and teach them what we have learned.

What are your thoughts about breastfeeding and supporting your partner in breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding is such a beautiful experience. To watch someone you love, and chose to create a family with, being able to be a “Liquid Whole Foods” for your child is quite mind blowing.

I am an advocate for breastfeeding families. There are so many amazing nutritious and healthy benefits from breastfeeding and it’s natural. I love natural things. Breast milk is like babies' version of picking fruit from a tree, it's just the tree of life that happens to be their mom, lol.

What are your hopes for your child?

• Happiness
• Love
• Peace
• Success
• Prayers Answered
• A Life to be Proud of